Hey Reader,
Welcome to our community! Whether you’re new or a longtime reader, I’m so glad you’re here. Together, we’re redefining what it means to live fully in midlife and beyond—embracing embodiment, empowerment, and body liberation, free from the constraints of diet culture and ageism. All bodies are celebrated here as we build our truly unique community for those in midlife and beyond. Thank you for being part of this journey!
If you missed my Instagram post, I'll catch you up. I promised to elaborate here: I was contacted by a journalist, Kristen Philipkoski, who was working on a piece for Forbes magazine about the lack of "plus size" older models. If you've been here for long, you know this is one of my pet peeves, so I was thrilled that this is a topic a journalist is interested in writing about and happy to offer my two cents.
The quote in the Forbes piece was short, but you might appreciate the extended version, so here it is.
Here is the transcript of our conversation:
1. We’re seeing more plus models in ads and in media, as well as more older models. But not more plus and mature models, it seems. Why do you think that is?
I have noticed this and have been researching and writing about the intersection of the pro-aging and body liberation movements. White, thin, able-bodied people dominate the pro-aging movement, while the body liberation movement rarely includes people who are 50+. Thus, there is a clear need for representation of more diverse 50+ bodies.
After six years of focusing on this issue, I’ve concluded it is a complex phenomenon. At its core, the absence of body diversity in the pro-aging movement is systemic and rooted in our culture’s body hierarchy. I base my understanding on my 40 years of training and experience working with clients struggling with disordered eating. Sonya Renee Taylor’s work, especially her book The Body Is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love, informs my philosophical approach to caring for my clients and my body liberation as a 66-year-old woman.
Our socio-cultural narrative about bodies bestows power and supremacy on the white, thin, able, fit, young, cis-gendered, heterosexual male body. Taylor calls this the “default” body, meaning those with these bodily attributes experience a sense of belonging and power in our culture without effort, merely based on their physical characteristics. Any identity that you hold other than the default body pushes you a bit to the margins of our culture, requiring you to earn your place of belonging and retain any power.
Therefore, as you age, you lose social collateral and relevance. Many women crossing the midlife threshold describe this as "becoming invisible." This increases the pressure you may feel to “pass” as young, which supports massive anti-aging industries and the need to attain and hold onto a thin, able, and fit body, which supports the multi-billion dollar diet industry. The perception is that you can hold onto relevance and feel like you belong in our thin—and youth-obsessed culture if you work to control your body's appearance.
Our culture’s body hierarchy remains below conscious awareness for most of us. Therefore, the well-intended pro-aging movement does not include diverse bodies, further perpetuating this phenomenon.
2. One of Alicia’s theories is that stereotypes are so ingrained in older generations that the older women at the top of these agencies and publications have a hard time seeing beauty in larger, older bodies. Do you agree or have thoughts on that idea?
Yes, I agree 1000%! Please take a look at my response to number one. The “body positivity” movement entered popular culture in the 2010s. Those of us who were coming of age in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and even the 90s were not exposed to the radical concept that all bodies are worthy bodies. The message from the dominant culture, when we were coming of age, was heavily dominated by diet culture and fat phobia. The longer you are exposed to that belief system, the more entrenched these beliefs become if left unquestioned. However, narratives change, and you can change the one you tell yourself. It takes time and practice, for sure.
3. Do you think featuring older women with bigger in media could have a positive effect on women who see them? If yes, can you explain a bit how?
I posed this question to my little corner of Instagram as part of my response to Martha Stewart’s Sports Illustrated cover and my newsletter readers. The resounding response was that women in midlife and beyond do not see themselves represented. They would greatly appreciate seeing bodies that look like theirs in the media and would feel more confident in their bodies if they were not "missing." We’ve established that “representation matters,” which applies to women 50+.
I believe strongly in body autonomy, so no shade on Martha Stewart and Madonna, for example. I do not judge women for making the necessary choices to feel comfortable or safe. I’m saying that women 50 and older would benefit significantly from seeing older, more diverse bodies. Furthermore, it increases the perceived pressure to remain thin if the only way it appears to be “okay” to age is to be thin and fit.
I would love to hear your thoughts! Please hit reply and let me know what you think about the bodies you see in the media.
As always, I would love to hear topics or questions you would like me to write about. Please reply to this email with your experiences, thoughts, and concerns. I am so glad you are here.
With Love and Respect,
Deb
P.S. We need our community now more than ever! If you are interested in coaching and community to support you this year, I have a few options to offer:
Small Group Coaching Program
If you've been thinking about joining my small group coaching program, Aging with Vitality and Body Liberation , I have exciting news! If there is enough interest, I am offering another winter cohort.
Visit this page to learn more about our work and hear what past participants say about their experiences. You can also add your name to the waiting list to be first in line.
Membership
Is this you? You've already done some work to free yourself of diet culture. You are looking for a community of women your age who share a commitment to feeling less fear and dread about aging and more at peace with the body changes that come along with it.
I have an invitation-only membership that meets twice monthly for 75 minutes and provides access to a private community (not on social media). We meet via Zoom on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 9 a.m. PT and 12 p.m. ET. Please get in touch with me if you are interested.
1:1 Coaching
I am opening up a limited number of spots for 1:1 coaching in 2025. Please reach out if you are interested in getting on the list. If you've been a client in the past, you will be given priority.
I am so glad you are here.
Love and Wishes for Blooming in the year ahead,
Deb
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