Hey Reader,
Welcome to our community! Whether you’re new or a longtime reader, I’m thrilled you’re here. Together, we’re redefining what it means to live fully in midlife and beyond—embracing embodiment, empowerment, and body liberation, free from the constraints of diet culture and ageism. All bodies are celebrated here as we build a truly unique community for those in midlife and beyond. Thank you for being part of this journey!
In case you missed it, I ran a series on social media last week, which garnered a lot of attention and comments. Based on your most common questions, the series included my top strategies for no longer feeling at war with your body in midlife and beyond. Each post also included accessible practices to apply the concepts in your daily life. As you probably know by now, I find talking about your relationship with your body can only take you so far. Practices and rituals that apply concepts to your life can truly bring about change- if you do them. So here we are. As promised, I will expand on the ideas and practices presented in the posts.
One of the most common concerns I hear from those in midlife is this:
“My body is changing and I don’t understand why. I feel like my body is failing me.”
If this feels familiar, please know — you are not alone.
But more importantly: Your body is not failing you.
What if your changing body isn’t a problem to solve… but a wise protector adapting to a new season of life?
Our culture’s obsession with thinness, youth, and shrinking bodies has taught us to fear weight gain, especially as we age. We’ve been led to believe that health, worth, and even happiness are tied to staying the same size forever — as if our bodies shouldn’t change with time.
But science — and lived experience — tell a different story.
Why Your Body Changes in Midlife+ (and Why It’s Protective)
As we move through midlife and beyond, our bodies change. Hormones shift. Muscle mass naturally decreases (no matter what you do). Metabolism adjusts. This isn’t dysfunction — it’s biology.
One of the body’s remarkable adaptations in this season is storing more fat, particularly around the midsection. Here’s why that can be protective, not harmful:
💛 Supports Hormonal Health: After menopause, your body produces less estrogen. Fat tissue steps in to help produce small amounts of estrogen, which continues to support your heart, brain, and bone health.
💛 Protects Bone Health: Higher body weight is linked to better bone density, reducing the risk of osteoporosis and fractures.
💛 Provides Energy Reserves: Fat is an energy store that helps your body stay resilient, especially in times of illness or stress.
💛 Cushions and Protects: That soft layer? It literally protects your vital organs as your body ages.
This isn’t weakness. It’s your body working for you.
What Happens When We Stop Fighting Ourselves?
When we understand that midlife+ body changes aren’t a crisis but a natural, protective adaptation, we can begin to soften our striving to fight and control our bodies.
We can begin to trust our bodies again.
Here’s how you might start:
🌿 Notice the Cultural Narrative.
Catch yourself when the thought “I shouldn’t have gained weight” arises. Ask: Who told me that? Who profits from this message?
🌿 Shift from Control to Care.
Instead of asking, “How can I lose this weight?” try:
What does my body need from me right now — nourishment, playful movement, rest, kindness?
🌿 Curate Your Influences.
Seek out people, communities, and messages that affirm body diversity, aging, and true well-being — not shrinking yourself to fit someone else’s ideal. Most importantly, unfollow accounts, podcasts, and influencers that leave you feeling like you're not enough. NOW.
🌿 Honor Your Body’s Wisdom.
Your body is aging, yes — and it is also adapting, protecting, and carrying you through your one precious life.
You Are Not Failing. Your Body Is Protecting You.
What if you could stop fighting your body in midlife and beyond and start honoring it?
What if midlife+ was not something to fear, but a powerful transition worthy of curiosity, respect, and tenderness?
You deserve to live this next chapter free from body shame.
You deserve nourishment, not punishment.
You deserve trust, not critique.
If you're interested in more, I've written a book for you!
Unapologetic Aging: How to Mend and Nourish Your Relationship with Your Body
The dominant message about our bodies in midlife and beyond is that our bodies are a problem we need to work on by restricting ourselves and working harder to control them. So, it's no surprise that disordered eating in midlife+ is on the rise. I spent the last two years writing a book that supports caring for our bodies in midlife+, free of anti-aging and diet culture messages. Here's the latest!
Here's an example from Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDRD-S, FAND, co author of Intuitive Eating
“If we are lucky, we will have the privilege of going through significant changes throughout our lives. Our thoughts, feelings, values, and, of course, our bodies are in constant flux. I profoundly appreciate Deb Benfield’s empathic and insightful book for the help it will give us to navigate these many changes. Living in a toxic diet, wellness, and ageist culture, we must consistently challenge the messages we are given suggesting that we’re not good enough, especially as we age. To break free from this tyranny, Unapologetic Aging helps us to radically accept what we cannot change while appreciating the rewards that life’s changes bring us. Through Deb’s wisdom as well as poignant stories from her clients, we are guided to increase our self-compassion and confidence, and to become excited about all the avenues that are yet to be explored. Finally, it brings us to the gift of body liberation.”
Book Launch Happenings!
I am making plans for fun and meaningful gatherings (in-person and virtual) as we approach pub day, December 16th. This is more than a book launch—it’s a movement to reclaim how we nourish and care for ourselves in midlife and beyond. Please let me know if you want to plan an event near you!
I’m gathering a small group of passionate readers to help spread the word in meaningful, heart-centered ways. As part of our team, you'll receive special perks, the inside scoop, access to more in-depth content, my deepest gratitude, and surprises along the way! Details are coming soon.
Join the team bringing age-affirming, body-liberating words into the world.
With Love and Respect,
Deb
P.S. We need our community now more than ever! If you are interested in coaching and community to support you, I have a few options to offer:
Small Group Coaching Program Opening Soon!
Visit this page to learn more about what happens in my small group coaching program and hear what past participants say about their experiences. You can add your name to the waiting list to be first in line.
Membership
Is this you? You've already done some work to free yourself of diet culture. You are looking for a community of women your age who share a commitment to feeling less fear and dread about aging and more at peace with the body changes that come along with it.
I have an invitation-only membership that meets twice monthly for 75 minutes and provides access to a private community (not on social media). We meet via Zoom on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 9 a.m. PT and 12 p.m. ET. Please get in touch with me if you are interested.
1:1 Coaching
I am opening up a limited number of spots for 1:1 coaching in 2025. Please reach out if you are interested in getting on the list. If you've been a client in the past, you will be given priority.
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