Hey Reader,
Welcome to our community! Whether you’re new or a longtime reader, I’m so glad you’re here. Together, we’re redefining what it means to live fully in midlife and beyond—embracing embodiment, empowerment, and body liberation, free from the constraints of diet culture and ageism. All bodies are celebrated here as we build our truly unique community for those in midlife and beyond. Thank you for being part of this journey!
I hope you've created some rest and restoration for yourself through your holidays. I'm writing to you today to offer support during what I consider a tough time of the year. Diet and fitness culture are ramping up for the New Year, New You sales, like always. This year is particularly hard because we now have additional pressure from the "menosphere". I use this term to refer to all of the noise around menopause and the management of it.
Don't get me wrong! While I am thrilled that we are finally discussing this transition in women's lives, perhaps more research, education, and understanding will benefit us. I am also deeply concerned about the aspect of this conversation that focuses on controlling our bodies with increasingly aggressive movement and increasingly restrictive diets. I've written many times about the increased risks of developing disordered eating in midlife and beyond. You can take a look at my blog if you're interested.
I am witnessing the same old diet culture manipulation of making our bodies a problem and then offering the sale of supplements, programs, and products that promise a solution to the problem created by the menosphere's diet culture story!
It's time to challenge the story that our midlife+ bodies must be fixed.
As the menoshere's version of diet culture crescendos in January, I want to offer these words to you dear friends:
Do you know what contributes to the challenges of midlife and beyond? Feeling like your body is broken and a project you must work on and get right!
The fact is, the dominant messages about nutrition and movement directed at women in midlife+:
- are overwhelming and confusing
- are not accessible for many
- are not sustainable for most
- undermine your relationship with your body
- contribute to disordered thoughts and behaviors
It's messed up!
And this time of year, the idea of a fresh start is compelling; I fall for it every year. It's also true that the "resolution" mindset may contribute to this being such a hard time of the year if you struggle with your relationship with your body. So, let's find an antidote to the pressures of the "resolution" mentality, shall we?
It's not just that the Diet and Wellness Culture Noise is so loud. It's the pressure to work harder on improving yourself and view your body as a project you must vigilantly work on. I'm here to offer another way to think about this fresh start.
Another way
The effort to "control" your eating and exercise disconnects you from your body as you look at your body as a project. Food and movement rules, combined with a control mindset, cause a great deal of preoccupation, guilt, and shame. Thoughts of controlling your eating and movement have the potential to backfire as disordered eating thoughts and patterns.
I know this may sound counterintuitive, but it's so true: If you want to feel more comfortable and confident in your body, the last thing you need is to start another diet and exercise program.
So much of your struggle comes from saying you want one thing and then finding yourself doing something else. Can you relate?
The bind that food and exercise rules create brings to mind one of my favorite quotes by Anais Nin:
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Choices that invite alignment with your body, what you truly value, and your vision for the second half of your life take courage.
The courage to:
- get close enough to yourself that you begin to notice your thoughts and feelings
- become aware of your internalized ageism and end it
- break free from your familiar diet and wellness rules that now contain and constrain you
- learn to move your body as a way to feel pleasure and play
- practice listening to your body as you begin to accept, respect, and ultimately repair the trust in your body
- surf the waves of discomfort that arise when you are in new territory
- navigate the grief that may bubble up about your aging body
Part of you knows that your life really could be different.
Part of you knows that following another diet/wellness plan will hold you back. This part wants to be free, to experience more pleasure, and to feel more powerful.
When you quit diet/wellness culture and step into trusting your body, this transformation ripples out into other aspects of your life. You likely will:
- have more access to your creativity
- have more energy for projects that mean a lot to you
- have the courage to have the hard conversations
- start to ask for what you need and set boundaries
- let draining relationships go
- say yes to new adventures
- start the business you've been wanting to start
What would you do with yourself if your worries, guilt, habits and patterns, frustrations about eating, exercise, and body size and shape were no longer a problem?
You would blossom!
You would learn new ways to relate to yourself and new ways to nourish, move, and calm your body. Your identity would shift and change. You could actually live out the life you're imagining. Isn't that what this second half is all about anyway?
It's understandable if you feel resistance to stepping away from familiar (and constraining) diet/wellness culture rules. Every single person who has ever done anything interesting with their lives has struggled with resistance.
You can work with and through your resistance. You can notice it, tolerate it, navigate it, and move forward.
If you find that the risk of remaining tight in the bud of diet/wellness culture is more painful than the risk it will take to blossom in 2025, I am here for you!
Blossoming in 2025
If you are interested in coaching and community to support you this year, I have a few options to offer:
Small Group Coaching Program
If you've been thinking about joining my small group coaching program, Aging with Vitality and Body Liberation , I have exciting news! If there is enough interest, I am offering another winter cohort.
Visit this page to learn more about our work and hear what past participants say about their experiences. You can also add your name to the waiting list to be first in line.
Membership
Is this you? You've already done some work to free yourself of diet culture. You are looking for a community of women your age who share a commitment to feeling less fear and dread about aging and more at peace with the body changes that come along with it.
I have an invitation-only membership that meets twice monthly for 75 minutes and provides access to a private community (not on social media). We meet via Zoom on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 9 a.m. PT and 12 p.m. ET. Please get in touch with me if you are interested.
1:1 Coaching
I am opening up a limited number of spots for 1:1 coaching in 2025. Please reach out if you are interested in getting on the list. If you've been a client in the past, you will be given priority.
I am so glad you are here.
Love and Wishes for Blooming in the year ahead,
Deb
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